Wednesday, May 14, 2008


When I masturbate (or whenever I'm horny really), I don't have a video playing in my head. I don't imagine scenes at all, really, and I especially don't have any faces. I might imagine what I would describe as still frames, photos, but with sensations.
FLASH! The feeling of being bound.
FLASH! Knowing I'm watched.
FLASH! The feeling of being spanked.
FLASH! A cock entering my pussy.
Just single flashes of sensation, no action, not much of a setting and no background information. Sure, I enjoy reading erotic stories, but I don’t fantasize about them later on. I don’t have a movie playing in my head.

And like I said: Even in those single flashes of emotion and sensation, there are no faces. There never has been. I don’t dream about my boyfriend when I’m masturbating. Or a movie star for that matter. I don’t dream about anyone, because I’m so focused on ME. My feelings, my emotions, my sensations. Faces are unimportant, because there is no story, no action, where they are important.

Last night was different. I was lying in bed, unable to fall asleep, fantasizing about one particular girl. The face, the body, the voice, the hair, the posture. Everything. Still, there wasn’t much action, but there was definitely more than still frames. I’ve never experienced that before. Not even with people I’m madly in love with. It’s odd. Must mean I really want that girl. It’s not love. Has nothing to do with love. It’s sex. I want her.

And no. I’m not telling who it is. Perhaps it’s you. Perhaps not. I won’t tell. 

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