Corvus and I are seeing eachother about once or twice per week. And we usually don't play more than once per week, sometimes less. So obviously I'm not blogging as much as I should.I'm not bloging as much as I should these days. I'm not documenting my play sessions well enough anymore. I simply don't have time, and when I do have time I've usually forgotten what I was supposed to write. Don't see a solution to this, other than keeping a physical notebook/diary. Which I'll probably just forget anyway. Nah, I don't know. Enough complaints and excuses though.
Wednesday 16th of March, in the car before dropping me off after we'd been to a munch outside of town... Corvus gave me the second key to his collar. He gave me the first one on Saturday, so that we could have one each. Now I have both. The only way for him to get it off is to cut it off with bolt cutters. (Or to have the lock malfunction again.. It's happened once before.) The collar itself is a twisted steel wire, and the locking mechanism is inside a 2x2x0,5 inch block of steel. The block hangs at his throat, like a piece of jewelry, stopping the wire loop from separating.
I've been waiting for those keys since.... gosh... October? Something like that. Corvus has had so many ups and downs since then, and I totally understand him not wanting to give them to me until he felt ready. I'm still not convinced that he'll be completely fine with this level of control in the future, but for now he seems comfortable and content.
What does this mean to me? Several things. Commitement, first of all. He's signaling that he's got no intention of cutting me off (again) anytime soon. Secondly, I find the collar a beautiful symbol of ownership. Thind, ofcourse, is the power. Would I sound mad if I say that power turns me on? I want it, and when I have it I want more of it. That he wears an item on his body that he is UNABLE to remove without destroying it. And that I, and only I, hold the key... Oh yeah, that thought turns me on. :P