Sunday, December 18, 2011

Dominant women: Where are they?

It's accepted as a fact of nature that there are more submissive men than there are dominant women. I don't think that's true, or at least that the ratio isn't as skewed as people claim. There ARE dominant women out there, we just don't see them that often. And there are a lot more women who COULD be dominant, but never dare because they are expected to be perfect from the start. Dommes need to learn as well, they need to be uncertain, they need to grow and developp. And they need to be accepted for who they are, not forced into a  high-heeled dominatrix mold.

Dominant women are preassured from two different angles. One side is the side of the domiant men, the dumbinants, who want all women to be submissives. They have the support of our society, as well, so they have a lot of power. The other side is the side of the submissive men, the dumb submissive men, who are SO self-centered. Who have watched too much porn and thinks that's how dominant women are supposed to be. Who send mass-produced messages to dominant women on kink sites, where all they do is talk about themselves and their wishes. Domiant women are HUMANS, not sex-robots built for your pleasure. Porn is not reality.

Now, I'm not as angry about this as certain other bloggers out there, but I still feel they have a point (if a somewhat exagerated one). I'll leave you with a quote from one of those fairly angry bloggers, Bitch Jones, which I actually found through another female dominant blogger Dishevelled Domina:

I can’t be bothered with these things because I have a lot of subjects that need tackling. We really need to talk about strap ons and latex and why I have ten different kinds of vibrator. 
And whether there really aren’t enough dom women to go around or whether there are really lots but they are scared to come out of their houses because of all the hideousness. And so, instead they give up and compromise and they settle down instead with nice vanilla guys who don’t try and talk them into play piercing and horrible, horrible crotch high boots all the time.
Yes, we have kinks – our own kinks – we are not all encompassing kinky-womenready to enable whatever non-mainstream sexual interest you might have. And you – male subs – might actually be okay with that if there wasn’t so much desperation painted all over it all. If the second you got your claws into a slightly kinky woman you didn’t start trying to remake her kinks in your image. And you’d be able to chill a little more if there were more dom women, which there would be if only…
Do you not see? Do you not see? You have created a woman repelling space full of unreasonable expectations of female physicality, predatory sexual creepiness, penis fixation (just ’cause you’ve locked it in a plastic cage doesn’t mean you aren’t still letting your world revolve around it) and pay-for-play as an acceptable norm.
And then you are surprised – surprised! – that there are no women here. Even though you have practically built a woman repelling force field around this place. You really like sexual frustration that much, huh?
There are enough dom women. There are enough for you to have one each. But they aren’t coming down here until you tidy the place up a bit. Just a bit. Maybe start by putting the porn away. Well *some* of the porn, then.
There’s so little time. There’s so much to fix.
Come on. Come with me. We can poke the Goreans when we’re done. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you aren't angry about it!

    I get pissed about a lot of stuff but this is one of those things that gets better every time we talk about it and the conversation is shared.
    Every time another woman is encouraged, empowered, and freed to explore, we win!
    We all win.