Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Jump opening up

I'm still seeing War, but there's nothing new there. I'm also still seeing Jump, I'm seeing quite a lot of him actually. And there has been developments. He's been alone for such a large part of his life, and there's all these walls around him to protect him. Unfortunately that means he's unconsciously pushing people away, me included. I've been unable to read his thoughts and emotions, he keeps everything covered up inside. This has made me more unsure of him, and it's made me feel uncomfortable around him.

We had a bit of a breakthrough this weekend. He spent three days with me, and I confronted him with my thought and feelings on this subject. It ended up with him crying in my arms. He's never done that with anyone before and I'm glad he trusted me enough to truly let go. There are still some walls I need to get through, but this really helped a lot. I felt a lot closer to him for the rest of that weekend, and a lot more comfortable around him. If he manages to continue letting me into his head, and generally trusting me and being honest with me, I think we'll have some great times ahead of us. I'm getting close to taking this a step further, intimacy wise.

To my surprise, Jump isn't as vanilla as I thought. He's fairly experimental, which is fun. And somewhere, deep inside that shy, insecure, lonely man, is a Dom. Or at least a decent Top. And THAT'S fun. He's way too inexperienced yet to get into my head, there's so many techniques he's lacking and he isn't skilled at reading people. His low confidence is getting in the way. But as a top he keeps improving. He just needs someone willing to trust him, which I am (up to a point). So yeah, a lot of fun times ahead, I hope. :)

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