To my surprise, he took my proposal for what it was. He asked if I was serious, and when I confirmed my desire to play with him, he was practically beaming. He responded that he'd love to play with me sometime. He informed me that he's a masochist, and enjoy pain and humiliation. I warned him that as a sadist I'm not particularly patient... I want things to hurt bad, and hurt now. So if it was a slow, safe spanking he wanted, with lots of warm-up, I probably wasn't the right person. He kept saying he was fine with that, and kept repeating "bring it on, I dare you!".
I asked him to message me on Fetlife when he got home, to show that he was serious. Then we could talk some more in writing and see if our interests aligned. If I didn't recieve a message, I would know that he didn't really mean it. That he wasn't interested, or up for it.
In my heart, I really hoped he would message me.
He did. That very same night.
Overjoyed, I messaged him back and we've been communicating and negotiating back and forth since.
His messages have confirmed what I already knew: This guy is experienced! He's done lots of things, he knows his limits, he communicates and he's played with lots of different people. Like I said in my previous entry, most people I play with are rather new. He isn't. Whilst this is exchiting and very interesting, it's aslo challenging. More threatening somehow, as I feel I get judged and compared to others.
Perhaps it's just my low self-esteem talking, but this is what I find so comfortable when I play with newbies: They have very little to compare me to. I know the sessions won't be great, but I also know that they will enjoy whatever tiny taste they can get of kink stuff. This experienced guy... I know I'll have to plan this out more carefully, I know I'll be more nervous and I know I might overthink it all. But I also know that this COULD be really, really good. He's experienced and confident enough that if I manage to build the trust needed to play at all, the play might end up being really intense. Really nice. Really sexy.
So yeah, a higher fall. But also a potential for a bigger gain.
Bring it on, I dare you!