Friday, April 15, 2016

This is NRE!

I'm humming to myself, with the melody of "This is Halloween" (from The Nightmare Before Christmas): "This is NRE, this is NRE. NRE! NRE! NRE! NRE!"

What is NRE? It stands for New Relationship Energy, and it's the feeling of infatuation or attraction you feel when you get attracted to someone new. It can be anything from the fleeting, giddy feeling when you see someone attractive on the subway. Or it can be the increase in energy and attraction you get when you enter into a new relationship.

So NRE can be really serious, but it doesn't have to be. It can just be a light, fun feeling of happiness that doesn't have to have any deeper meaning. NRE doesn't have to lead to anything. Experiencing NRE does not mean that an infatuation has to become a relationship. It certainly has nothing to do with "true love". It's a physical and mental attraction, and a very enjoyable state to be in.

I'm currently experiencing NRE, because I spent almost three hours last night chatting and flirting with this new guy. I've known him for years, but for various reasons we've never gotten to know each other on a more personal level before. He's handsome and intelligent, and I already know that we have overlapping fields of interests in BDSM. He's also new to BDSM and new to the scene, and I love introducing people to the world of kink. I wouldn't call that a fetish, really, but it's definitely something I enjoy doing. (In addition to the altruistic aspects, I think I'm attracted to the imbalance of power in such a situation.)

I already know that I don't want a serious relationship with this guy. Not only do we want different things from a potential relationship (he's looking for a life partner, which isn't something I can or want to be), but we also lead very different lives. I don't think we'd be compatible. Besides, I already have two very serious relationships (my boyfriend/sub and my husband), and I don't want to add a third full time partner. I've tried that before (back when I was juggling T, Saint and War, while flirting with Jump), it's too much hassle and nobody gets enough time with me. I end up feeling bad all the time, feeling like I'm letting people down.

So what do I want? I would love for us to do something sexual, and I hope I can give him some positive BDSM experiences. If we play a few times, and then never again, I would be fine with that. If we started seeing each other once every one-two months on a more regular schedule, that would also be fine.  (Similar to me and Donald, whom I played with last in late December. We have a new play date in a week or so.) If nothing physical happened at all, I would be a bit disappointed, but it wouldn't ruin our friendship or anything. We could still talk about kink and exchange ideas and knowledge. 

But no matter what happens or doesn't happen in the future, the NRE sure is sweet. I feel happier than I have in months (which I'm sure can also be attributed to a depression in retreat). I have more energy. I feel horny (which I think can also be attributed to some medication I'm on). And I want to share my joy with others, and make them happy too. This can have a positive effect on my partners, T and Saint, as well. NRE doesn't make any demands or claims, it's just a very enjoyable state of being. I've missed that. 

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