Saturday, July 9, 2016

An exhibitionist's dream (Showboat part 3)

I'm an exhibitionist. The idea that someone gets turned on by watching me, turns me on. The idea that someone I don't know, and who don't know me, sees me and gets turned on by me, turns me on. The idea that someone might accidentally see me in a sexual setting, and get turned on by it, turns me on.

It's my oldest kink. I remember realizing that I was an exhibitionist when I was 13 years old. I was at a nudist beach in Oslo with my mum, and an older man (probably in his 60ies) lay down uncomfortable close to us on the beach. He lay sideways, watching us. Watching me. And his dick was semi-hard. He wasn't touching himself, not doing or saying anything inappropriate, just watching. Being turned on by me.

I knew I should be grossed out by it, or scared, but I wasn't. I got horney too. Back home, I did an internet search on the phenomenon and found my label: Exhibitionist. That summer, I took several long walks in the forests around my home.. Wearing short skirts and no panties, laying down in semi-secluded spots and masturbating. Imagining that someone was watching me from the bushes.

Since then, I haven't done much to scratch my exhibitionistic side. Sure, T and I had sex once in front of people, at a cabin trip with a group of BDSMers. It was kind of clunky and didn't work out as well as it could have. It was fun to have done it, but like most things it works better in my fantasies than in real life. Sure, I've walked around without underwear sometimes, and I've played topless at our BDSM club several times. I've had sex in the water at a beach once.. But most such situations don't really work as well in real life as they do in my mind. Or they don't work at all, because they feel practical and not sexy. Also, I don't want to put unknown people in uncomfortable situations. Random people usually don't expect, or want, to see other people naked and touching each other. I also struggle to orgasm if I can see or hear people I don't trust or know really well. That also puts quite a damper on my exhibitionist side. 

Saint has fingered me once or twice, sitting on the floor in a rather secluded spot in our BDSM club. People could see us, but most don't even notice we're there. That has scratched my exhibitionist itch, sure. It turns me on relentlessly, but the people walking back and forth, talking and laughing, are a distraction. I can't orgasm in such a setting, I just get really horny and frustrated. 

Anyway, last night at Showboat... Everything just worked.

After we'd finished with our session, we went back upstairs for some cuddling and aftercare. We found a secluded spot, a huge empty couch in a dark corner. From this spot, I could still see most of the dance floor, one of the staircases from the basement, and one of the smoking rooms. They weren't that many meters off. But the dance music was loud, so I couldn't really hear anyone not inches from my face. We were clearly visible to others, but not really obvious. Not in-your-face.

We sat talking and cuddling for a while, and then I took Saint's hand and placed it on my crotch. He started stroking and petting me, through my pants and panties. I grew more and more turned on, while I was watching people walking and talking just a few meters away. I removed my pants and pulled my panties aside, and he kept stroking me. (I'm on my period, so no unplanned fingering at this time of the month.)

Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore. I removed the panties as well, and started touching myself. Now, I usually never orgasm without the aid of a vibrator, but I know that I can do it. I just do it very rarely, in fact so rarely that Saint has never experienced it. The primary reason is that it's both easier and better with a vibrator than without one. But I still know it's possible.

I started rubbing my clit, alternating between having my eyes closed to shut all the people out, and having them open to see all the people. (Yeah, I know, I'm confusing.) 

Like I said, we were in a rather dark area off to the side, but we were still visible. At least a couple of people noticed what I was up to, but they just smiled and passed us by. I was glad for the respect they showed us, by not remaining there or interfering in any way.. No one acted sleazy or stood staring..

Though..  I wouldn't have minded if they stood staring at me, their dick in hand. (As long as they kept a respectful distance and didn't speak or otherwise interrupt me.) As an exhibitionist, the thought that my body or my actions can turn other people on, is part of the turn-on.

So I lay there, touching myself. And I came. In a room full of people, in full view, I orgasmed. Writing about it now, again I'm soaking wet. It was an exhibitionist's dream come true, or at least my dream come true. 

I enjoyed our time at the Showboat. It was a great party and a lovely, intense play session with Saint. But what truly made my night.. Was this. Masturbating myself to orgasm, in full view of other party goers. 

Earlier today, when I had the hotel's jacuzzi to myself, I masturbated again while thinking about last night. A few other people were in the swimming pool and sauna nearby. Anyone could have walked by and seen me, and it would have been awkward and not sexy at all. But I still came, right there. Thinking about last night.

And now, the moment I press "publish" on this post, I will have Saint finger me. And I will orgasm again.

I think this is the single hottest thing I've done in years.

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