(I thought I'd written this elsewhere in this blog, but apparently I hadn't. So I'm writing it here.)
In the kink community, dominant women are in high demand. And since I'm an experienced, highly visible and outspoken person, who's willing to play casually with others.. Well, I'm usually not lacking in offers.
However, in no other social scene do I get the same attention. In other social settings, it feels like I'm still stuck in high school, sitting in a corner and watching the more popular girls having all the fun. Being alone, while others are swimming in offers (often more than they want).
For this reason, it's always difficult for me to deal emotionally with the discussions concerning unwanted sexual attention from guys. Like cat-calling or people groping women in a bar queue.
(Now, I don't doubt that this is a problem, for lots of women, and I can sympathise on an intellectual level. I've also felt slightly worried when walking alone in town at night, I've taken precautions with where I meet someone for the first time, I try not to get overly drunk at parties, I worry that I'm "leading someone on" if I'm too nice to them... So yeah "rape culture" is definitely a problem. I do think about my own safety in my daily life, and especially when interacting with men I don't know that well.)
But on some level, I wish I could get some of that attention that other women seem to hate. I know it's irrational, and that I probably wouldn't want any such attention from guys if it did happen to me... I know that stalking and cat-calling and groping and veiled threats hidden as compliments aren't nice, and they don't make people feel wanted or desired or safe. But still...
But still, I can't help notice that some women get all the attention. All the positive attention AND all the negative attention. Some women... not me.
Like I said, it's like being back in high school, watching the popular kids. Sometimes, I feel like negative attention would be better than none at all. That way, at least, I'd know that SOMEONE was attracted to me. Someone thought I was sexy. (Someone, who didn't know that I represent the commodity that is "Dominant Woman".) Someone who saw me, and was attracted to me. Yeah, it's sort of irrational, I know.
Still, I can't quite shake it.