Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Our family is growing

This spring has been tough, as things are changing and more change is still to come: After two and a half years, and a lot of help from a nearby hospital, I'm finally pregnant! I'm expecting my firstborn child around New Years'. 

The IVF-process has really taken it's toll, and the first trimester wasn't exactly a breeze either. Among other things, my sex drive disappeared completely. (I suddenly get how some asexuals must feel. In that state: I would have been happy to never have sexual contact with anyone again... That felt very unlike the real me!) I also felt tired and nauseous a lot, and was pretty miserable. And I'm sure I was miserable company for those around me as well... But if we have a healthy child when 2018 comes along, it will all have been worth it.

The second trimester has been easier than the first, and my sex-drive is slowly returning. I still don't have a lot of energy, but I'm more interested in sexual things now than I used to be. While I miss my "old self", this is better than nothing. Having sex with Saint again (remember, he and I didn't have penis-in-vagina sex for the those 2+ years when T and I were trying to conceive) still feels amazing, although the growing belly is starting to get in the way. We're experimenting with new positions and having fun with it, but I suspect it might get more difficult as the pregnancy progresses. Saint also adores to eat my pussy, which is a fantastic way for me to relax and get in the mood.

Just a couple of weeks after releasing news of the pregnancy to the world, I also came out to about half my Facebook friends' list that I'm polyamorous and that we'll be three parents in stead of the usual two. While T is the child's biological father, we've decided that Saint will also be a parent and be a part of our family.

Coming out like that was a huge step for me. Several of our closest friends already knew we were poly, and my parents had also been told, but many didn't already know (as "half my friends list" is approximately 240 people). So it's sort of like coming out of a closet. I was really nervous when I first wrote the Facebook-post, but so far we've only gotten positive responses. Although some people, like my parents, have simply ignored it. That makes me sad, but I guess it's better than outright hostility.

This was important to me also because "poly" can mean a lot of different things to different people. I want to make sure that Saint feels included as part of the family, not just some guy I occasionally have sex with. I love him and want him as part of my life and my child/children's life. My role and T's role in the family are more or less taken for granted by society, while Saint's place all of this is less obvious. So T and I have to work to ensure that he's included, when the society around us assumes otherwise. I'm really grateful for the way T has handled this, and feel so happy to have two such amazing men to call my partners.

Polyamory is pretty awesome.

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