Sunday, February 21, 2021

Oh gods, what a weekend

Oh gods, where do I even start. The weekend with Arthur is slowly drawing to a close, and I feel the need to write things down in fear of forgetting all the details. Already, all the different ways we've played and fucked merge into each other in my mind. No longer crisp and clear, just a potpourri of bodies and mouths and dick and pussy. 

He's come inside of me while I was riding him, and he's come in me while I was on my back. Bodies grappling, hot breathing, moving in sync. So intense and sweet, not really knowing where I end and he begin. 

He's come on my face, and my throat, and my boobs. I still have old semen on my neck and chest, I can smell him all over me. I don't know how many condoms we've been through, but I'm glad I bought a new pack earlier this week. The lube bottle is almost empty. 

I've come lying in his arms, cuddled and held down. I've come hard while he was straddling my chest and gripping my throat, just a second before he came too. I've come while he was sitting between my legs, helping me with a huge vibrator, and I screamed and laughed so hard I'm sure the entire hotel floor could hear us. 

He's fingered my mouth, and my pussy, and my ass. I really didn't think I'd like that last one as much as I did, but I was wrong. His fingers hit some spots that felt really, really nice. We weren't able to get his dick in there, but hopefully we can play more with that next time we see each other. He's been making me so horny, I was shaking and almost crying. I've been frustrated and unable to come, then come after all. I've laughed and I've cried. 

And I've sucked his dick. Oh gods, how I've sucked his dick. I've worshiped it. I've cuddled it. I've licked, and teased, and sucked. He's been relaxed and almost asleep. He's been actively fucking my face. He's held me down, lifted me up, forced and grabbed. He's been huge and rock hard, and he's been soft and squishy. I've played with the very tip, and I've gagged on his entire length. He's been standing, sitting, and lying down. The best was when he was sitting in a high back chair, and I was sitting on the floor in front of him. I could lean my head on his thigh, and he could see me smiling. Enjoying myself, enjoying him. I've buried my face in his crotch, to the point where I couldn't breathe, and didn't want to. I've practiced, and managed, to get all of him down my throat. I've wanted to practice more. 

It hasn't all been a dance on roses. He's been tired, struggling to stay present and not push me away like he often does after he's come. He's needed to sleep a lot, trying to get back on his feet after four very tough weeks at work. He's been very close to an anxiety attack, mostly caused by me pushing some buttons and saying nice things to him. (I'm not sure that was such a good idea, but I don't regret it either. It needed to be said.) He's been distant, and I've felt rejected. 

I had a pretty bad drop yesterday because of one such incident, though when I recognized it for what it was, I was able to shake it off pretty quickly. I think seeing me so filled with such anxiety and negative emotions, actually scared him more than me. He hasn't seen me drop before, that typically happens after I leave.

There's a few things we talked about beforehand, that we haven't done. Generally we've played "nicer" than I think we both had planned. There's definitely elements of BDSM in almost everything we do, but it's been more a Top/bottom-dynamic and not so much D/s. That's mostly caused by his mood and mental state. Taking a Dom role is really tiring, mentally demanding. I know this from my own experience. I'm unable to properly dominate when I feel drained myself. D/s is a game for days with extra spoons. Not when there's already a shortage. 

There's still a few hours left before he leaves. I've pleasantly sore in my pussy, my ass, the back of my throat and the inside of my lips. I hope to do even more before it's over, but if nothing more happens that's also fine. In addition to all the sexual stuff, we've also enjoyed ourselves in other ways. We've been out to eat twice, dressing up and making sort of a "date" out of it. We've read books, cuddled, played Pokemon Go, and talked. We've shared memories, talked about feelings and discussed current events. 

I've had a wonderful time with Arthur this weekend. An intense, tiering, physically and emotionally challenging time. I'll be really sad when it's over, but also glad. I miss my kids and my partner at home, and I'm glad to be going back to them. While I do love Arthur, and love spending time with him like this, I know we'd be terrible for each other in a more full time relationship. What we have right now is perfect. Intense and sweet. He's a comet, and the reason we've been able to be lovers for so many years is precisely because he's gone for long stretches of time.

But I do love this. I have so many sweet memories from this weekend, and have gotten so many ideas for things I want to do in the future. I'm nowhere near done with him, that's for certain. I look forward to seeing him again. 

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