Monday, December 21, 2009

Philosophical musings on play modes

Two playsessions with Mondage since I posted last. Here's a summary, as well as some musings of my own:

Last Tuesday: Impulse play session with Mondage. Did some public playing, which didn't give either of us much satisfaction. Then after dark we drove just into the woods close to town, where I tied him to trees. It was about -6 degrees C, so both of us had aloth of clothes on and such. But having Mondage standing upright, tied to two trees, it was still obvious that it turned him on. More than I thought it would, actually. We were quite close to the road, so people passed us quite regularly, which for me made the whole thing extra thrilling. After a while, I pulled down his pants, having him stand with his lower body nude while his upper body was fully dressed. I liked the contrasting image, and wish I'd brought a camera. (Note to self: Do this again sometime, preferable in daylight and a bit further away from civilization.) I eventually had him jerk off while standing upright, a new experience for him. As I suspected, he got quite weak in the knees afterwards, but luckily his legs and one arm was still tied securely in place.

This Friday: One-evening long BDSM Chistmas party. Played around with Mondage, tying him to the furniture, himself and other people. At one point, I hogtied him and shoved him under the table. I also gave him a light whipping with a flogger made of licorice strings (we've named it "kinkorice"). We ended the evening in a private room where I eventually won the Opposed Will Roll, and he came. (When is he going to truly learn that I'm the one in charge? It's not like he's ever actually won!)

I noticed that he does indeed respond better to bondage when he's focusing on me and what's being done to him. In other words: When he's concious on his role as a submissive and my role as the one in charge. He's still turned on by light bondage that he can wear while socializing, but the desired sub/Dom mood where I'm the main focus of his world seems to make him hornier. As oposed to previous play sessions, getting that mood took actual work, and retaining that focus for more than a few minutes was tricky. Probably because there were alot of people around, distracting us both. Once we left the people behind and started playing in a more private room, getting and retaining the desired focus was much easier.

I realise that a divide has grown up between random, light, non-comitting bondage and the more serious bondage/BDSM playing. For me and Mondage, I don't think there was such a divide in the past. I cearly remember when both those "genras" of playing were basically the same thing. That really isn't the case anymore. I don't concider this a bad thing at all, I'm just remarquing upon it because I find the developpement interesting. We're really comming to discover more of his submissive traits, and I feel that I fit more comfortably into the role of the Dominant than I did a few months ago. As I relax into the role, I'm also turned more on by it.

I think a balance between light, "social" bondage and more focused bondage/BDSM play is the ideal. I wouldn't forgo either, as both have their funtions. Now that I'm more aware of this divide, I think it'll be easier for us to switch between these two modes as well. I know some tricks that'll take him into a sub-mode almost instantaniously, and if I just work at keeping him there, we should be able to play seriously in a social setting as well. It just takes more awareness of where we are, mentally, and where we want to be.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Have you been naughty or nice?

Naughty is more fun, without any doubt! FetLife, which I've mentioned here before, are giving away over 200 very cool, very kinky presents. All you need is a profile on FetLife, and then you may pick out the three items that you want the most. Just follow the red banner at the top of the page, or go directly by this link:

The gifts I've said I wanted the most are:
1. A bondage bag with ropes.
2. A big, lockable toy box (mostly because it's very usefull, and I'll probably never buy something like this on my own)
3. A nice whip

If you participated as well, what did you wish for? Post a comment and let me know!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sneak attack!

T has hinted towards us having sex at least two or three times in the last couple of weeks. I just haven't been in the mood at all, because my bachelor thesis has taken up all of my energy. I've masturbated a bit, to get relaxed enough to sleep, but sex has simply felt like too much work. This is stupid, I know, because it's possible to have sex very quickly and with very little hassle. I just haven't been in that mode at all.

But yesterday, I finished and handed in my thesis.

I went to bed very early last night, and so woke up today feeling uncommonly awake and in high spirits. My boyfriend was sleepy, but I felt this could be a good oportunity for sex. I carefully played with his dick for a while, as he was only half-awake. When he woke up a bit more, I sucked and licked it for a while, before lubing myself up and putting him inside of me. Wasn't really in a mood to orgasm, myself, but rode him (backwards, with my legs between his, like I've tried to explain before) until he came. It was a nice way to start the day.

Calm and trusting

Last Friday and Saturday, I played with Mondage again. Friday wasn't planned, we just happened to be going to the same event, and I took the chance offered to me. He's been talking about public bondage, public gaging etc. So while driving, I made him wear a ball gag (which I hid with a scarf). He kinda freaked out a little, but I think he'll start to enjoy it if he gets used to it. So I'll definitly do something similar to him at another time. This same evening, I also tied his wrists together and had him walk around in public with that. Fun, and also something I'll probably do to him again. Still... The gaging was better!

Saturday we played like we've done before. Only truly new thing I did was put him over my lap while spanking him. I also tied him to himself while lying there. It was fun and it gave me alot of controll over his body and alowed me to reach most of his body at once. I also tried a tiny bit of falaka (foot torture), but not much.

To me, what really defined this day, happened earlier. While sitting in the couch with him, I did some breath controll. I tend to hold him for 20-40 seconds, sometimes pushing him to 50 seconds if I feel he can take it. He was really relaxed, really trusting and it was simply a great time. I wanted to really see that trust displayed, so I told him to look into my eyes while I kept his nose and mouth closed. And he did. He didn't struggle, make noises, look scared or anything. So I kept holding him... For one whole minute! That was just incredible! Not really the length, because holding your breath for a minute isn't THAT hard... But the fact that he trusts me so much, enough to trust that I'll let him breathe when I want him to. He didn't even seem impatient for it, nor scared, just calm and trusting. The connection betwen us just feels wonderful. I didn't think I'd ever get to such a point with him, and I'm just really pleased.