Sunday, November 21, 2010


After the previous blog entry, corvus finally gave me permision to be more explisit when I talk about his fetishes. So I will now spill the beans: He has a big fetish for corsets and high heels, both wearing and seeing others wear. Mostly, or so he says, because they are both restrictive. He also has a thing for cross dressing, which didn't come as much of a surprise to me seeing as he already loved corsets and heels. He's fairly comfortable with his kinks when he's on his own, alone. However, showing them off to others is a whole other matter. My goal is to be able to make him enjoy wearing women's clothes at a BDSM party. And I believe that goal to be 100% obtainable. From feeling apprehensive and a bit embarassed when other people see him wearing a corset, to now being able to thoroughly enjoy wearing women's underwear in my presence.. He's already come a long way. I'm proud of him.

Two weeks ago, we went to a cruising party. I had him wear women's panties and pantyhose underneath his regular clothing. Even though it wasn't visible, that's still a first for him. Another first was forcing him to wear women's shoes (pumps with high heels) at the club. Only when we were hidden away in a dark corner, shaded by a partially see-through curtain.. No one had a chance of actually spotting the shoes. Still, he was incredibly nervous and embarassed. He did it, though. I'm very pleased about that.

Every time he's been made to do something relating to his kinks for the first time, he's felt awfull. Embarassed, nervous, not wanting to do it at all. However, already the second time around he's been more comfortable with it. To the point where he's now getting a serious hard-on when I force him into women's panties. So it is my hope that next time I make him wear heels at the club, he'll be more comfortable with it. And eventually he'll enjoy it. Then it's time to stretch him further. And so it goes. Eventually, he'll not only handle being cross dressed at the club, he'll come to enjoy it.

After the cruising party, I brough him back home with me. As T was away, I had him sleep on a mattress on the floor by the end of the bed. I tied him securly, but loosely enough that he might turn around and such.

Sometimes during that weekend, can't exactly remember when, I sat on his face and had me lick me. Not for long, mainly to make him used to the idea. However, it was awsome, wonderful and just simply nice. I will certainly have him do that again sometime soon.

So that was one weekend. The next weekend, that is one week ago, T and I relaxed at home. No party, no nothing. We had sex, and it was very nice. It's been a while, because two weeks ago he was away (in Trondheim), and three weeks ago I was away (in Bergen). I love those lazy mornings with him, when we can simply spend time together and be good to one another.

The last couple of weeks, T has started playing with another woman. I'll name her DW. She's a cute submissive who lets him fondle, spank and fuck her. I'm happy he finally has someone to play with too. It isn't fair that I'm the only one to play with someone else. Besides, she's kinda hot.. I enjoy waching him with her. Guess I'm quite a voyeur. :P

On Friday, I went to the movies with B. While I was away, DW and T had some time alone at home. She stayed the night, and although I was fairly tired and spend most of the time asleep, I still got to see them play a bit. It was fun, I hope to see it again.

Saturday, I went to a fetish party with corvus. It was fun. A lot of nicely dressed people, fairly nice music (if too loud).. We had a fun time. We played a bit, because we needed a break from the loud music and it seemed he needed it. We discovered, however, that what he really needed was affection and for someone to hold him. So we left the party sometime after 2:20am and went to play in the car instead. There, I beat him 'till he started crying and then held him while he emptied himself. At 5 am, he drove me home. I'm hoping this will have helped him relieve some of the tention and anxiety he's been dragging around this past week. I truly want what's best for him.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Humiliation nation

Played with Corvus yesterday. Decided last week that it was time to humiliate him again. It's been a while, and I think of pain, pleasure and humiliation as a holy trio of BDSM. There's been lots of pain and pleasure, because we both enjoy that so much, but humiliation also has it's uses.

So I gave a couple of hints during the last few days, and they were strangely effectful. By the time we actually met up yesterday, he was pretty fucked up. Very nervous about what I'd do to him, mostly because he'd let his imagination run amok. He knew, rationally, that he could trust me to not push him too far.. But his emotions weren't listening to reason.

Tuesday arrived, and after having eated and taken a shower each, we drove out. I'd already teased him a bit, using items he's got a fetish for, teasing his nipples and such. His nipples have turned crazily senstitive lately, something I'm taking full advantage of. On the way home, I'd gotten an all-clear on humiliation. It isn't, in itself, a big turn on for him. But he trusts me and doesn't mind me doing it occationally. As it turned out, he was more turned on by it all than I'd expected.

Arrived at our destination, a monstly empty parking lot, I started using his fetishes against him. Last time I did that, he got incredibly embarassed already from the get go. This time, however, he was mostly just turned on. So I upped the ante, pushed the fetishes a bit further and finally got the response I was looking for: He was looking down and away, refusing to meet my gaze. A slight reddening of the cheeks, a posture that formally screamed "don't look at me, I just want to disappear". Though even after pulling out all the stops, he still wasn't as far "down" mentally as he was the last time I played with this fetish.

I think it's a matter of habituation. And trust. I'd done something similar, if not that extreme, to him before. And it's been a few weeks since then, and we've gotten to know eachother better. Trust eachother more. It's a good thing, but it also makes pushing him that far down into humilation a lot harder. I have to become more creative, perhaps using his ability to unhinge himself... It seemed to work well this time.

After I was done humiliating him in that way, even having him walk around outside the car (in the dark, with practically no one around, so very safe), it was time for phase two. I'd decided beforehand that I'd try to get into his ass that day. He was ready for that step. And so he was, and so I did. He took to it right away. A bit of tongue work, nibbling and licking, to make him turned on and relaxed, and in I went. (I'd ofcourse brough gloves and lube.)

He enjoyed it. Ocourse he felt it was a bit odd, and ofcourse it was rather intense.. But he'd been up that way before, using a but plug, so he wasn't a complete virgin. I see that as a good thing. While I was doing this, he was partially tied up and still using fetish items. Once I started jerking him off, a finger up his ass, there was very little he could do about it.

Getting him to come still took a long time. A couple of breaks along the way when he got sore and tired, but I always started him up again. I kept on going, though it wouldn't have bothered me that much to be unsuccesfull. I've only done it to him once before, after all. After turning off the lights, to make the situation a bit easier on him, and pushing a second finger up his ass... I made him come.

I then dipped my finger into the sperm and made him lick it off, again and again 'till he'd eated most of it. Just to underline the point that he is mine. Mine to use, and abuse if I wish it. Mine to satisfy, humiliaty and hurt. Or in this case a lot of both... I worked his dick really hard for a long time, and he got very, very sore. As a matter of fact, he's still sore. So this time, his orgasm wasn't that much for his pleasure. It was for mine, for the power of having him do it. For the fun, for me. And it was always perfectly clear who was in control.

And I loved doing it.