Chatting with a masochist from another city today, I realised something: I really, really miss being Sadistic towards someone. Hurting someone, making them groan and shout.
Notice I didn't write Dominate, as I'm mainly attracted to the Sadistic part of it all. Sure, I can make up rules and such.. But really, what I want is to physically hurt and humiliate someone. Tie him up. Make him take whatever I do to him.
Him. A man. CBT (Cock and Ball torture) is also something I've realised that I like doing. But with a moderation, obviously! I would never do anything that might actually harm those precious parts. For some reason I consider the genitals of a woman a lot more intimate than those of a man. Perhaps because a man's is easier to access... I don't know. I just don't feel that grabbing a man's cock and balls is that intimate. Touching a woman's clit or putting something in her seems SO much more like sex to me. I don't know why. Perhaps because I'm a woman myself.
Another reason why I'd prefer a man to torture is because men have to be so brave all the time. So closed up. So solid. I like the power I'm given when I'm being sadistic towards someone and they're ok with it. Deep down, I do believe they're slightly mad.. But as long as they seem sane and can take conscious decisions, I guess I just have to be ok with it. They are letting me. They want me to. So I do it. And I love it!