Monday, May 3, 2010


A few days ago, T and I were at a non-BDSM party. Most of the people there were LARPers and/or roleplayers, and my involvement in the BDSM community was not common knowledge. Even so, there were some people who knew. There's this one guy, whom I've decided to name Catalyst, who knows. We've been playfully flirting for a couple of years. Nothing serious, as we're both in relationships, it's just for the fun of the game. We both enjoy physical contact, and if we'd both been single we'd probably had sex occasionally. We wouldn't work out in a serious relationship, though. So the flirting is just a bit of innocent fun, and we know each other well enough to know that there can be no misunderstandings or hidden intent. He's not a part of the BDSM community, but he's definitely into BDSM. There's no doubt that he's a natural Dominant, and I knew from early on that I could easily submit to this guy.

At the party, I'd been giving a few massages, as this is something I really enjoy doing. I was rubbing the neck and shoulders of someone else, when he came behind me and started doing the same to me. It hurt, but once he'd adjusted a bit it was a good kind of hurt. He moved his hands up my neck and started massaging my scalp. I'm not a great fan of scalp massages, but by then I didn't really care... Because he was holding my hair. Not pulling, just grabbing it in by the roots and controlling me through my hair. I claim to not have any fetishes, but that's probably the closest I get. I LOVE when someone grabs my hair like that! Then he started touching my throat. Very, very few people are allowed to touch my throat, but he didn't ask for permission.. He just did it. And perhaps because I instinctively submitted to him, I didn't stop it our question him. With anyone else, I would have freaked out, but not with him. I told him that he was now included in the very small group of people who could do that. Perhaps because I told him and thereby implicitly giving him permission, he then got a bit rougher. He wasn't just touching anymore, he was holding quite forcefully, although he never stopped me from breathing.

When he let me go and turned me towards him, it took me a few minutes before I could stand steadily and look him in the eyes. I'd been way into a "sub mode", and if there hadn't been any others around I would probably have knelt. He was very good in talking me back to a more neutral state, and generally did all the things that a good Dom should do. He's really got an instinctive flair for Dominance, and is very good at reading people. He went way beyond the limits I thought I had, but although he skirted close to my real limits he never crossed them. Stretched them certainly, but never pushed me too far. For such an inexperienced Dom, I'm truly impressed. I'm not even certain he was really aware of what he'd done to me.

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