A lot has happened in December. Corvus and I have played a lot. We keep exploring the world of crossdressing. He's re-discovering sides of himself that he probably knew at one point, but repressed years ago. I'm glad I can help him become more comfortable in his own skin, and get to know himself better.
A couple of weeks ago, I stayed at his house for a night. It's been a long time in comming. He's got cats, which I'm allergic to. That evening wasn't so bad, as long as I stayed in the relative cat free bedroom. However, the next day was not good at all. I'm not going to spend the night there often, that's for sure. I guess that's just as well, since I this time managed to break his bed. Just imagine what I could do if I came by more often. :P
We've spent several entire afternoons together, mostly in the back of the car. I'm feeling much more comfortable when I'm with him now. We know eachother so well, and know we can rely on eachother whenever we need support. There's been a lot of stress in December, and it's been very nice to have another person to go to for support. Being held, having him give me a massage, letting playing with him distract me from everyday worries... It's a great form of stress relief.
T is my first priority. Although I've grown to care about Corvus a great deal more than I thought I would, he can't ever take T's place. In my life, they hold two very different, very distinct positions. Each has it's "use", each is important to me, but they can't replace eachother. It just wouldn't work.
It's as if I was some kind of machine, with T as my regular power supply. Corvus is like a spare battery, giving me that extra boost when I need it. Getting some of what I need from Corvus also enables me to better support T in turn. What goes around comes around, you might say. So although December has been hectic for both T and I, I feel we've come out of it in better shape than we could have. Because we've not drained eachother completely dry, and instead relied on others to take part of the strain. I'm not sure this is an ideal solution in any way, but it's worked well enough.
It's a matter of balance, though. The moment T and I stop relying on eachother entirely, the relationship would start to die. We are eachother's closest support system, eachother's better half, and that's the way I want us to continue. We just have to be aware that it is a balace. I'm so looking forward to over a week of hollidays with T, traveling together and visiting family. We need this time together, after these last few months filled with stress and strain. It will be nice.