This night has just been fantastic. There was a munch at my local BDSM club tonight, and there was a pre-munch meeting with a youth BDSM group. In the pre-munch meeting we were 25-30 people, which is a record for that group. Very, very good attendance. And at the munch we were over 80 people! Usually, we say it's a very well attended munch if there's 40... So yeah, great to see so many new people comming to our BDSM club at the start of 2012. It bodes well for this year, I think.
If that had been it, I would still have called it a great night. If only for the amount of people and the exhitement and athmosphere. That's far from all though.
I played with a guy today for the first time. I'm naming him Tight, because that's how he likes it. Nice and tight and snug, with as little room to wriggle as possible. He's also a relatively small man, with a lot of fun in a tight little body. He's a bondage fetishist, with a couple of other fetishes thrown in. He's a submissive, with very little experience when it comes to pain. We were thrown together by a friend of ours at a BDSM christmas party a couple of weeks ago, but Tight had to leave early. What little we had time for was fun boded well (hmm... a lot of "boding" tonight... ) for future play, so we agreed to meet again at the munch tonight.
Due to the stuff I wrote about earlier this winter I was very keen on actually getting some real playing done. I was looking so much forward to this munch, I had started to worry that I might have been putting to much into this, and T was trying to cool me down. Telling me he might not even show, that he might be too busy, that we might not match as well as I think etc. Didn't help much though. I KNOW all these things, but I so, so, SO wanted to play with someone again.
He came to the munch, he had time and we did match as well as I thought. At least that's the verdict so far. You can't say anything for sure after one session, but I think this (yes, here it comes again) bodes well. He's the kind of guy who likes to take things slow, so this is not "my new sub" or anything like that. Not yet, anyhow. We have, however, agreed that this evening was great, and that we want to do it again sometime soon.
What makes him different from most of the others I've played with these past months is... Well, first of all it's how we communicate. He's not the most extrovert person, so he doesn't say much that I don't specifically ask for.. However, his body language speaks tons. Tonight, I felt as though I could read him like an open book. That spark, that connection that I was missing when I wrote Cravings, I felt that it was present. At least to some extent.
Secondly, he comes with very few catches. Very few hooks attached. At least that I've found so far. He's not in a demanding relationship, he's not living far away, he's not looking to start dating me.. Though yes, like most of the previous people I've had any sort of association with, he's a practical sort of guy, a handy-man and not an academic. Though as opposed to those other people, he's not politically in stark opposition with me, which is a good thing. He also seems less depressed/mentally troubled than the other people I've played seriously with. He's craving BDSM, but he's not one of the desperate, needy subs. Not a worm, though I'm not sure I'd call him a lion either.
Another very interesting aspect of tonight was my reactions to all of this. When I'm playing "casually", and my head's not in the game, I don't react physically to what I'm doing. I don't get turned on. And even when I'm in the other play mode, where I'm trying to take it more serious, I still need a true connection to make it work. With people I've played with this fall, like Larpy and Mouse, or even Winnie, I've tried to have a serious session.. An it's nice enough, but there's no connection, no spark. And thus I don't REALLY get turned on by it either. Sure, I react to seeing a guy obviously please by what I do, but it's not quite the same.
When I hear Covus moan in pain, or pleasure and pain combined, I get really turned on. It's become an almost instant reaction (and a too rare one, these days). Fascinatingly, my reactions to Tight were in the same ballpark. Not as strong or as instant, but I wouldn't expect that for a first session. But simply the fact that I AM turned on by playing with him, is a really good sign (see what I did there? No boding :P ). Now, this MIGHT just be because it's been quite some time since I did something like this, and I was getting desperate... I don't know.
I didn't do anything with him that was "out of the ordinary" tonight. He had brought a straight jacket, so I put it on him, tied his feet together, and then sat tickling his nose with the end of a rope while he was trying to answer my fairly serious questions. That was all innocent fun, and a nice bit of "foreplay". We then went to a somewhat more secluded spot, where I tied him up. Ancles, thighs, chest, upper arms, lower arms and wrists were all tied to the wall. Then I just petted, tickled, stroked, pinched and scratched him. Like I usually do the first time I play with someone, my goal was to judge his reactions and body language. I also hit him a bit, both with a soft flogger and with a wooden paddle. He doesn't handle pain well, but I think it's mostly from lack of practice.
His reactions were special, and that made this extra fun. I actually managed to drive him into sub-space, or at least that's what I think it was. I don't think I've ever had anyone go in there, certainly not so easily. It was fun, and it gave me a real confidence boost, as I suppose that means I'm doing something right.
I'm really looking forward to playing with him again. I'll keep you posted. :)