Consequences: Losing access to female spaces

I continue my self-education in trans issues by listening to the fabulous podcast Trans Norge (Trans Norway. They've made one episode in English, but the rest is in Norwegian.) In one episode, two transmen discuss how they were perceived and treated pre- and post transition, as well as touch upon other topics such as fragile masculinity, toxic masculinity, gatekeeping and other stuff. 

There's one line of thought I found particularly interesting... That someone who wishes to transition should ask themself: "What do I wish to accomplish by transitioning? What do I stand to loose?" Their example was someone who's got a very strong identity as a lesbian, who takes part in many lesbian spaces and who would miss that terribly if they transitioned socially to become a straight man (ftm transition). Would it still be worth it? Lesbian spaces typically is very accommodating to masculine looking women. So if all you want is a slightly more masculine look, maybe that's enough? 

However, if you conclude that being seen as a woman.. Even a masculine / butch woman.. doesn't suit you.. Then that's perfectly valid. You should transition if that's what feels right for you. Just be aware of what you're loosing, by no longer being seen as a woman. 

I'm not a lesbian, and have very rarely taken part in any such female queer spaces (and never felt comfortable there). However, there are other areas where I stand to loose something if I'm no longer seen as woman. I've already discussed my place in the kink scene, but it goes beyond what I talked about there. For example, I will not be welcome in any FemDom spaces. FemDom parties, events, clubs... They'll all be lost to me. I'll be a "just another male dom", unless I hang out in queer kinky spaces where being trans would give me a different role in the social scene. As for FemDom.. I even run a bloody FemDom server (albeit a very lgbtqia+ friendly one), and most likely I will have to give it over to someone else eventually. It just wouldn't feel right to keep running it myself. 

Babywearing has been another interest of mine, ever since I got pregnant. The babywearing community has been good to me. That community is predominantly female. There are the occasional men, but they're so rare they're almost put on a pedestal. And as with all topics related to childcare, the men are discriminated against: They're not seen as equally competent as the women.

On the other hand, the roleplaying / boardgame communities will probably be more welcoming and accommodating if I'm no longer seen as a woman. Or at least less judgmental and gatekeeping-y.

Being a fantasy book nerd is also fairly gender neutral. There's probably more women than men active in spaces where books are discussed, but men aren't treated very differently.. Or at least I think they aren't. 

Now, I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a man. I'm still non-binary, and I doubt that will change. However, I get so much dysphoria from being seen as a woman these days. Given a choice between being seen as a woman and being seen as a man, I'd much rather be seen as a man. And if I'm seen as a man, I'll probably be treated as a man. Regardless of whether I identify as non-binary or something else. So that's what I'm trying to consider and prepare for.