All about the clit

I've read extensively about testosterone (often called T in the trans community) these last few weeks, and it's definitely something I want. However, even if I was given hormones today (not bloody likely, that's quite a process), I couldn't take them. Why? 

Well, it's all about the clit. 

You see, on testosterone the clit becomes bigger. For some there's only a slight visible change, for others it can almost look like a downwards-pointing micro penis. For most trans people this isn't a problem. On the contrary, many desire this change. So do I, as my clit is tiny. I'd love for it to become more "normal" sized at least, and don't mind if it gets bigger than that. But for me, "bottom growth" (as it's called) would be a big problem, because my clit is completely covered. The hood as fused. I'm sure you can imagine: What happens if tissue tries to grow, and there isn't anywhere for it to expand..? Pain, that's what. And most likely lots of it. 

Since I don't want that, there's only two solutions: Don't ever take T.. Or get my clit hood surgically opened. That last solution is what I'm hoping for. 

I saw my gynecologist this week, and asked her to refer me to the hospital for that surgery. Not only did she not know that this surgery existed, apparently, she also refused to refer me. In stead, she's referred me to a dermatologist at the hospital, and then THEY can hopefully do and assessment and refer me to surgery. But everything in the public health system takes time, especially when this isn't "urgent". So that probably means several months to wait for an appointment with a dermatologist, and then several more months to wait for surgery. And then stuff needs to heal. 

That means AT BEST, I'd be done with that process sometime in 2022. At best. And to walk around with untreated gender dysphoria for that long.. All because of a stupid clit and stupid lichen sclerosus.. That's disheartening, to say the least.