Thirty

Last night, "That list" reached 30. Yes, the list is actually named "That list". And yes, it's an actual list on my Google Keep. A list of what, you ask? Of people I've had sex with. Ever.

Sex defined as direct touch of genitalia (mine, theirs or both), with the intent of causing sexual pleasure. So fingering is sex, whilst sucking on someone's boobs isn't. It's not perfect, but I had to draw the line of "sex" somewhere. Can't possibly keep track of all the people I've tied up or spanked, for example. 

So anyway, yes: Number thirty. We started chatting on Grindr, and decided to meet up about an hour later with the intention of going back to his place to have sex. (Depending on chemistry and gut instinct, of course.) He didn't think I'd follow through.. Just like me, he's also experienced a lot of guys chickening out. Even sitting on his bed, chatting, he obviously still didn't believe it would happen. He only got convinced when I bit his lip and sucked his nipples. (By the way, a hot tip: If there's even a slight chance of getting someone back to your place for sex.. Make sure your bed sheets are clean. The super stained, gross sheets on his bed ALMOST made me leave.)

The sex was fairly vanilla, with just enough hints of power play to make it interesting. Good enough, but not amazing. No real chemistry there, and not enough red flags to make me leave straight away. I was horny and wanted to fuck. I could do a lot worse than a hairy, bearded 25 year old, chemistry or no chemistry. He was decent in bed, but with the cockiness of someone who hasn't really been taught to LISTEN to his partner. In stead, he did things (repeatedly) that I'm sure has worked well with other partners, but that I told him I didn't really like. That got annoying, but increasingly firm corrections got his attention eventually. 

With the exception of Swede, Dane and an american woman, he's also the first foreigner I've had sex with. And the first non-white (depending on your definition of "white". Non-western anyway.). I noticed that internalized racism was trying to fuck with me, but since I was acutely aware of it I think I was able to resist at least some of it's influence. It's a challenge, though. Interacting sexually with non-Norwegians is obviously good for me in that sense.  

He told me he was half Albanian, half Palestinian, born in Syria. His mother is dead, but the rest of his family lives near Oslo. They're muslim, but he isn't particularly spiritual himself. I have no idea if any of these are true, but it's not completely unlikely. He gave me a fake first name at first, but afterwards told me what I assume is his real one, and showed me his Facebook profile. He told me he came to Norway seeking asylum ten years ago. He works in the kitchen of a local hotel, which his Facebook profile confirmed. Based on his Norwegain skills (very good, but not perfect), his arrival-time in Norway is plausible. Based on his circumcised dick, the religion part checks out. 

I'm not sure I really like him, but it doesn't really matter. I wasn't really there to make friends anyway.