Tell me what's wrong, or I'll start guessing

 I recently read this article about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how it's fairly common in autistic people. I've always thought about RSD as relating to criticism and actual rejections. And while I know I don't deal with that super well, I know others (like Saint, and Novice) who struggles more with it than I do. However, apparently it's not just related to stuff others purposfully do or say... 

This quote, in particular, struck a cord with me: 
"...their experience of RSD as an autistic person causes them to be “very observant of patterns, and so when someone’s behavioral pattern is different, I notice it and often feel a sense of guilt about it, like I must have done something for them to feel upset and that’s why their behavior has changed.” This increased hypervigilance, over time, can be traumatic for the autistic person."

And THAT is definitely something I do.

I also find it extremely frustrating and scary to ask what's wrong, and be told that "it's nothing". When they brush me off, I feel gaslit. Like I can't trust my own perception, like I can't trust reality. There's clearly SOMETHING. I can't tell if the problem is that they hate me, or if they have a pain in their neck, or feel tired, or are thinking of a work assignment they need to do... 

I can tell that something is up. But if the problem was completely inconsequential, they wouldn't have had a need to deny it. To hide it from me. Therefore, I conclude, it must be something serious. Something bad. Something relating to me. Something I've done, or not done, or said, or not said. And the more they deny that there's anything wrong, the more desperately afraid I become. Because I can tell that there's SOMETHING. It's emotionally painful and mentally draining.

If they could just tell me what's up, I wouldn't have to become so stressed out and afraid. Tell me you're tired and your mind is wandering. Tell me you feel conflicted, or afraid, or worried. Tell me your arm is asleep, or that you're thinking about that meeting with your boss last week. Just TELL ME, so I don't have to grow so afraid. 

It feels to me like such a simple fix.  Their non-verbal signals are virtually shouting at me that something's up. I don't understand why people struggle with this, why they won't tell me what's wrong. I'm confused. At this too. 

At everything, more or less.