Joy stick

I finally made the Joystick work for penetrative sex, and OH MY FUCKING GOD it was worth the wait. 

To grab my dick in my hand, line it up with a willing, waiting hole, lean forward as it slides into my girlfriend.. Hear her moans as I adjust my angle and push further into her.. Move in and out, and feel the dick following most of my movements,.. Turn the vibration on, and keep moving.. Every time I push in, I can feel it, as if it's a part of me. Feel it, as I build closer and closer to orgasm... Then finally coming, coming with my dick buried deep inside Elle's willing hole. 

I almost cried. If I hadn't been on testosterone, I certainly would have cried. But crying is physiologically more difficult now. 

I giggled and grinned, brimming with gender euphoria. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. Grateful that she let me do this with her, let me experience this with her. This has been a dream of mine for so long, a dream I didn't think would ever happen. I'm so, so grateful that I got to experience this.

I'm fairly certain that my fucking leaves a lot to be desired. I think she'd want me to take her for longer, and probably with a different stroke, tempo etc. But this time, she let it be all about me. Just a willing hole for me to enjoy. And there certainly was a lot of joy to be found. 

About half an hour later, I also fisted her again. She was tied to the bed, arms over her head and legs up in the air. She managed to take my entire hand for a bit longer this time, though she was quickly moaning and squirming and begging me to let her come. I eventually agreed, and took her clit in my mouth while my hand was wrist deep inside of her. It was super fascinating, she remained flaccid almost until the moment of orgasm. Never seen that happen before. 

The other day, we also mounted a strap-on onto her, so I could ride it. Worked really well, once her own anatomy was pushed away between her legs. It makes me optimistic that we can still have great, penetrative sex, even if anti-androgens and estrogens make her erections go away. (Assuming she still wants sex then. I hope she does.)