Just a quick note before writing the post I really need to write:
Might locked me up again yesterday, and I wasn't terrified like last time. So it's obviously a question of habituation. I need to prove to my mind that this isn't dangerous. That I CAN do this, even though it scares me.
Might also spanked me yesterday. Hard. By far harder than he did under guidance from T a few weeks ago. I eventually used a safeword, because I could feel my head fighting it too much. I wasn't able to let go the way I wanted. I simply need more practice.
He did really well, though. I was surprised by his willingness to try stuff that is obviously quite scary for him. I hope we get to try again sometime.
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