Don't crack the eggs

Knowing that trans people often find each other, even pre-crack... Knowing that it's fully possible to have no idea you're trans until you're an adult.. It's very, very easy to see signs of gender incongruence in others. However, what I don't know is if there's REALLY something there, or if I'm seeing things specifically because I'm looking for them. Making connections that aren't really there. 

I've gotten to know someone new. Someone I mesh with surprisingly well. Someone who's mentally pretty much exactly where Novice was when I met her; A history of being suicidal and doing self-harm. A complete disconnect between the conscious mind and what goes on deeper down. Really, really struggling to even name the emotions they experience. Not much sexual experience, defining themself as asexual. Interest for kink, particularly bondage. 

Sounds like Novice, right? 

Does that mean this person is trans.. An egg. No, a lot of people struggle mentally, and it can be whatever reasons behind it. But there's more... Little things that MIGHT not mean anything, individually.. But taken together, it's making me wonder. Like long hair, for example.. A lot of men can have long hair, doesn't mean they're secretly transfemme. The same wild-growing beard that Novice had when I met her, a disregard for own grooming... Problems with looking at their own face in the mirror, just like Novice. Could that all just be because of depression and low self-esteem? Sure. It could. 

I'm slowly discovering more intimate things, though.. Sexual stuff that really makes me wonder. 

Again, this doesn't have to mean anything. This could still describe a large number of cismen, I'm sure. It's just that trans people tend to find each other.. Like each other.. Recognize something in each other.. I've got a gut feeling here, and it's making me wonder. 

It can't be forced though. I can't tell them "I think you're transfemme", without potentially causing damage. Eggs won't crack until they're good and ready. So I can't think, suspect and wonder however much I want. I still need to keep to the Trans Prime Directive: Don't crack the eggs.