The itch, the fucking itch

So Might gave me scabies. He got it from a trans woman he'd had a sexual relationship with in January of 2024. (The same woman who was the batshit crazy roommate of Elle's, back when we were together.) He thought he was clean, having treated as recommended, but apparently it survived. So now, he needs a new round of treatment, and I need to be treated as well. What's much worse is that my kids, Saint and Novice also needs to be treated, as I've been in close contact with them (or in the case of Saint, live in the same household). I feel absolutely terrible that they're suffering. I don't know how I could have avoided it, and I'm thankful that I'm such a social recluse that those are the only people affected.. But still. 

Novice is angry with me for not telling her a couple of days sooner, when I spoke with my doctor. He said it was likely that it was scabies, and suggested I get it treated. But then Might's itch practically disappeared, so we started wondering if it could be something else. My doctor never looked at my skin, never examined anything. His judgement was based on what I said, how I presented things. I could have said things differently, and his conclusion would have been another. I didn't tell Novice, or Saint, because I wanted to be as certain as possible. Scabies treatment is expensive and extensive, it's not something you make someone go through unless they absolutely have to. 

She doesn't see it that way, because she ended up possibly contaminating other people during those two days. And I understand her anger at me. Just like I'm angry with Might, because he made me expose Saint, Novice and the kids to this. However, I know that anger is irrational. He did the best he could at the time, he thought he was clean. I'm allowed to be angry, feelings are permitted. At the same time, I can acknowledge that he doesn't deserve to be the recipient of that anger. Having two thoughts at once, and all that. 

I've also realized, during this process, that scabies is A LOT more common in Norway than I though. Almost everyone I talk with has gone through treatment at some point, or has a family member who has. A trans woman told me there's an epidemic among transfems in Oslo. They're 20-30 transfems who've all had to be treated multiple times this spring and summer.. And she'd just caught it again. T also told me that his girlfriend once caught it from some BDSM furniture at a kink club outside of Oslo. So apparently it's really common, it just isn't spoken about. 

Novice says she might not be able to forgive me for waiting those few days extra. For making her expose others. It makes me really, really sad. However, I can't do anything about that one way or another. I hope she'll accept me back in her life eventually. I still care deeply about her. I still want her in my life, and in the life of my family. I can only hope. 

And itch. 

Fucking hell, I hate this bug.