Third date

Tonight, I saw Cord again, for the third time in a week. And now I'm writing my third (or is it fourth?) post about him. The last time I wrote this many post about someone in CLOSE to the same time span, was Dane and before him Giant. So it's pretty obvious what's happening here: This is NRE. Wikipedia defines it as: 

"a state of mind experienced at the beginning of sexual and romantic relationships, typically involving heightened emotional and sexual feelings and excitement. NRE begins with the earliest attractions, may grow into full force when mutuality is established, and can fade over months or years. The term indicates contrast to those feelings aroused in an "old" or ongoing relationship."

I knew I was crushing on him during our online conversations following our first date. I was feeling excited, had butterflies in my stomach, and couldn't stop smiling. However, those feelings got dampened a bit because of the overwhelming dysphoria he triggers in me when we meet in real life. Today however, those feelings came back with a vengeance. I started laughing while we were cuddling on the couch, because I realized that I'm definitely falling for this guy. And not just like a mayfly, a spark that disappears into the dark. No, this feels.. More.

I fall a little bit in love with every person that I'm intimate with. I wrote about that back in 2016. And that's true. For example, I definitely feel some sort of love for Foodie. I get some feelings, in that moment, even with people I only play with once. Those feelings might not last through the night, but they're absolutely real while we play. And I still helplessly love Arthur, even though he's been ignoring me for months. I also love Saint, deeply and without reservation, like I have for many years. 

So getting feelings for people isn't new, isn't unusual for me. However, Cord and I "click" on so many levels, have talked so much, and seen each other so often, it's really fanned the flame. It also seems like we're both in a place where we have the time, energy and desire to continue developing this. That's.. Encouraging. 

He's intriguing, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, amusing... I feel mesmerized by him. I want to see him again.. And again... And again. And hopefully, I will.