A new novice

I played with a new person a week ago. A submissive, uncertain geek. And new to the BDSM-scene. (Back to my typical pattern, in other words.) This is also a masochist, which is a lot of fun. And demi-sexual, which after Cord I didn't think I'd get into again. This feels different, but.. Yeah.. We'll see.

From now on named Novice, they've since read my ENTIRE blog. Yes, all of it. All however-many-hundreds of posts there are. And they're currently scrolling through a second time. I'm grateful for the devotion, absolutely, but also a bit freaked out by the amount of dedication. I worry they'll get way, way too hung up on someone they's only played with once. We plan on meeting up again in a couple of weeks, but I'm really uncertain at this point what will happen after that. 

I really like the person, we have a lot in common, but yeah.. I worry I'll hurt them. 

Also, I don't have time or energy for a third romantic partner, I KNOW that will go to hell really, really quickly. I've tried that... How many times now? Three? Four? It doesn't work out. And yet, I fall SO fast for people.. Especially people like them. So.. Yeah. 

Its not just their feelings that worry me. 

On the other hand, they clearly see me as a woman. Or at least woman-adjacent enough that it makes no difference to them. They're really respectful about pronouns, tries to educate themself on trans issues and is really making the best possible, conscious effort.. But they're also been clear that they don't know if they'll still be interested in me when I grow more masculine. Which is totally fair, and I'm glad they're honest about it. However that doesn't change the fact that being unconsciously misgendered, which ABSOLUTELY isn't done on purpose, still hurts. 

So yeah, I don't know where we're headed. But hopefully, we can have some more fun along the way.

Damn, this post was actually supposed to be about something completely different, but this intro got too long. Will need to split this off into a separate post. Keep reading.