A session with Arthur

Earlier this week, I finally saw Arthur again for a few hours. Damn, I love that man. I've missed him so badly. Haven't seen him since October, before I realized I was trans. It wasn't for long this time, but those few hours were so, so sweet. I want more. I always want more, with him. 

I know he's primarily attracted to women, so I'm also terrified of loosing him... (Though I'm not sure I ever HAD him.. But I'm sure you understand what I mean.) He says he's supportive, of course, but he's also honest about his worries. He's afraid he'll stop being attracted to me, once I transition far enough. He hasn't come out and said it, but I fear top op will be the breaking point. He loves boobs. I don't think he'd be attracted to me, if I didn't have boobs. It feels really shallow to say it, but I think it's true even so.

Anyway, future being what it is: This week's encounter was glorious. Maybe especially so because it was so short. He didn't really have to pace himself, didn't have to hold back. He gave me everything I wanted. 

So now, finally, I've been fucked by Arthur while my hands were tied together over my head. Now, finally, he's been so rough with my nipples that there was only pain, no pleasure at all. Glorious, glorious pain. Now, finally, he's had me held open, on display, teased and tormented. Made me blush, made me feel small and wonderfully embarrassed in that uniquely submissive way that I thought I never would experience with anyone ever again. Made me beg for him to hurt me. Made me feel safe, and cared for, to such extent that I was able to trust him like I haven't trusted anyone in over 15 years. 

He gets off on the control. Especially on me loosing control. Whether it's from fear, embarrassment, pain or pleasure doesn't really seem to matter to him. He just wants to corrode all my self-control, until I'm a mewling, squirming, primal thing. And although it's so, so, so hard for me to do.. So hard to let myself go to such an extent... I want that too. I want to give him that. To give him me. To yield.

My all means, I tied the knots around my wrists myself... I asked for it, I facilitated it. But he took the jump with me. Finally. Finally we played together, for more than just a moment or two. Finally. And it was glorious.