Secrets

Once previously, I've put restrictions on myself with regards to this blog, because of who would be reading it. That didn't go well. I'm in a similar situation now. 

Not because there's someone nitpicking over what I write about them or anything like that, but because of secrets. Specifically, I know a big secret about someone close to me. I can't write about it here, because others who have access to this blog don't know that secret yet. And it's really not my secret to tell. 

It's quite a paradox, really. Because although it's a big secret for that person, it doesn't really affect me directly. It doesn't feel difficult for me, or like something I'd have a need to write about other than as a passing mention. 

However, BECAUSE I have to keep this knowledge from others I care about, THAT makes it difficult. I detest secrets, I detest dishonesty. I feel like I'm lying to my loved ones, by keeping things from them. 

I accept the situation as it is, because it's not my secret to tell. And I respect that person a lot and don't wish to loose their trust. So this isn't intended as a way to make them open up about their secret, this isn't intended as manipulation or whining. They'll have to open up in their own time, when they feel ready. 

This is simply me letting off steam and dealing with my feelings in the only way I can: By writing. That is all. 

Edit january 2024: The secret here was that Novice was a trans woman. She came out to everyone in late 2023, so it's no longer a secret.