Trying three again

So far, I've met Novice three times. We've also spent many, many hours talking over phone and video. We can meet maximum once every two weeks, because that's all I have time for. Elle and my family share the rest of the week between them. I have no intention of changing this. 

As I was afraid of, I've fallen in love with Novice. And the feelings are reciprocated. 

I've tried juggling three romantic relationships before several times, and it hasn't worked out. Several times. However, those relationships were supposed to be equal. My relationships to Saint, Elle and Novice aren't. They aren't hierarchical, in the sense that one of them gets any say in what I do with the other two.. But there's definitely a hierarchy in terms of time. Novice doesn't get an equal part of my time, that just isn't on the table. It's absolutely not fair, but it's all I can offer. The alternative is not do be a couple at all, I think. Maybe, just MAYBE, this solution will enable me to make this work. To prevent me from burning out. I really hope so.  

Novice and I have a staggering amount in common. Not in terms life experiences, by all means. Novice entered the kink scene four months ago, and has had very few sexual encounters before that, for example. No kids, no long term partner, and no previous experience with polyamory. However, our references almost completely overlap. We've obviously spent time in the same parts of the internet for years and year, we know the same memes and pop culture stuff. We've also read many of the same books, we enjoy the same sorts of movies, and we have strongly overlapping tastes in music. Our minds also work similarly in this regard, so we find ourselves making the same references when we speak. It's fascinating. 

We recently played Agricola together for the first time. Novice had never played it before, and yet I lost. That was unexpected, but very, very fun. (Agricola is always fun, I love that board game! I've taught it to Elle too, and Student.) I want to play again.

That same evening, the 3rd of December, we had sex for the first time. I haven't written about it before, because it felt comfortably uncomplicated. Similar to my encounters with Student, it felt.. Easy. Like it should be. 

That doesn't mean Novice found all of it simple.. or at least Novice's asshole didn't, when I pushed a finger deep inside... We'd talked about it beforehand, of course, and I've fingered people before. So it didn't feel complicated or difficult FOR ME. Also, despite not much experience, Novice seemed talented in the "playing with a pussy" department. Especially my clit really enjoyed what was being done to it. That was an unexpected and really pleasant surprise. Despite this, I'm fairly certain I'm not seen as a woman anymore. I worried a bit about that beforehand, but I think it worked itself out.

And the rest of it was... Sweet. Pleasurable. Good. I enjoy getting to know a new person, learning what works and what doesn't, how a new body wants to be touched. And being in love sure doesn't hurt, either. Hopefully, meeting up once every other week or so will keep our feelings for each other on a low simmer; Enough to maintain them, not enough to make them flare so powerfully that this limited scope doesn't work anymore. We get along really well. I want this to work.