My crowd

Last Friday, I met up with Student again. I'd tried to find a random hookup on Grindr or Tinder, but nothing really clicked. We had a couple of hours together, before heading out to eat and go to a nightclub. I repeated some of what we'd done last time, using the binder and the dick. Blowjobs from him feels great (mentally, it's not like I have real nerve-endings in a silicone dick). I'd also bought a Bumpher, a sort of "back plate" to go on the dildo to stimulate me.. And it was.. Ok, I guess. Nothing revolutionary, but it was better than not having anything there. Student and I define ourselves as friends with benefits now. That's nice. 

By the way, he claims not to be as vanilla as I think. He's really curious about experimenting with pain, in particular. So I tried to pinch, scratch and spank him a bit, on his thighs mainly. It's fun enough, I generally enjoy causing pain.. But I don't feel there's any D/s chemistry there. We'll see how it developpes. 

I've spoken more with NN too, over Messenger. We plan on meeting up again after the holidays. Sex with him is good, and I think has the potential to become amazing. We'll talk more about the D/s thing as we progress, and I'm excited to see how that develops. I think we'll se a fairly fluid dynamic, with lots of potential for fun and mutual enjoyment. I also enjoy his friendship more and more, and am really glad I got to know him. In many ways, he feels way out of my league... But I'm happy he wants me in his life somehow, and glad I get the opportunity to learn from him.  

Last Sunday, I went to a shibari event again. The first one in a long time. I met up with this lovely transwoman and played with her. Naming her Elle here. Not just ropes, but actual play. Spanking and teasing. Bruises and kisses. I've met her several times before, typically at the nightclub. We've also met up for coffee/drinks a time or two. We flirt and touch, but we don't have anywhere private to meet up so it's never gone beyond that. 

But damn, playing with her was nice. I haven't really played with anyone in the last few months, and I still don't really know where I stand or what I like... So of course I slip back into some of my old patterns of behavior, it's only expected. But I want to explore more, and I think she's someone I actually could explore that WITH. The D/s chemistry is there, the attraction is there, that spark that makes play so much more rewarding is there. Also, I made her call me "Sir", which did exactly what I hoped it would do... 

And it's weird... I'm not usually attracted to women. Sure, she's pre-everything.. Not even on hormones yet, apparently. But I don't see her as a man. Masculine in some ways, sure, but she's a woman. I read her as a woman. So why do I feel such chemistry with her? Don't know. As long as I'm enjoying myself, I've decided not to question it. I hope we get to meet up again. 

With Elle, Student and NN I see the outlines of something. Friends I can fuck or be fucked by. People I can play with, explore with, talk to and be met with understanding. A transwoman, a pansexual cisman and a genderfluid person. A good crowd. My crowd. I'm glad I have them all in my life, and hope I get to keep seeing them.